A Lustful Mind

Reflection after reading Golden Boy.

A sincere act is something that the world will never trust. They would consider that is an act of an idiot. To eat or to be eaten, they said. Nothing good will come from sincerity but to have yourself played as a toy by others whom receiving your sincerity. What you achieve in the end just fist against the wind.

Lust, on the contrary, is the basic need of man, so they said. Lust is the desire to own something. This desire affect motivation and spread some fire into your soul. Lust is the desire to gain something: power, money, sex, security, etc. With lust, people are able to walk with their mind and set their path toward goal.

Lust, however, comes with a great impact: it makes people fall for temptations. Temptation to be rich, temptation to have glory, and temptation to have sex. To bribe, to kill, to rape, to raid, to rage, to berserk.

In the end, people with lust is someone no one. The person have gone and the body is a puppet for purpose. The law of chaotic applied, disorder powers will in the end in a harmony. The question is, who lead the power? According to Physics, weak force will be driven by a greater force. A body with lust will eventually driven by other lustful bodies.

Do I say bodies?

Yes, those submissive force just like the law of Physics are strengthening the original force. Just like vector resultant, weak force that against the great force is simply weakening the original force, but part of its way that have the least same interest as the greater force is become one with the original force and strengthening the great force.

Great force is actually a resultant of many forces. Although the original force drive the weak force, the weak force actually give of its share to the great force and slightly change the way of the great force.

To put a simplicity, lets imagine lust/force as a slope to draw linear line and life is the set of value that creates the line. When forces are met, it's like combining the equation, each is strengthening with the same time weakening. From the collision, forms a new equation and the slope is now different. Depending on the delta of the two slopes, each of them is now creating a new direction.

So, in the end, every lust has lost its original destination. None is the winner.

In the battle of lusts, people are craving for themselves. The inner them is questioning every act they are doing. Many burying their feelings in their deepest abyssal. Those occurrences thus hungering people with their basic need: the need to exists. They are questioning their existence.

Have one not ever wondered whether something is real or not?

The act of sacrificing reality into lies is in the end lead people questioning their own existence which the original purpose of acquiring the lust. To put a simple term, this condition is called loosing the grip.

Have one not ever felt loosing a grip?

When one have the feeling of loosing a grip into a certain level where that one cannot handle the situation or feel like out of the line, one would tempered to have one single objective: to go with the current or in a harsh term, give up.

How many people have already give up?

Almost every consenting adults.

In their fleeing lives, people will try to anchor their feeling towards something that they consider real. This is the power of the sincerity. The feeling of doing something for others is making every lustful heart wanting to have anchor in it. Everyone would desperately in search for this feeling unconciously and found themselves in bounded into someone that actually have this feeling.

The sincere soul is just like a sweet that leads many ants to it. The act of its owner would reflect in other's and it will continue gradually change the surrounding and making the surrounding attached by its charm and in the end they are all addicted to it.

The sincerity, however, have features that made the world hated it from the beginning. It makes the world so much dependable that it would made the world fear of loosing it. It has no direction that the world able to foresee thus making them walking towards something that unpredictable. It is like a white paper without any inks, fragile as if waiting to be tainted. But, the most important feature that made the world worried is because sincerity is something that the world doesn't have.

Something that the lust don't have is something that what a lust longing for. That feeling make the one that longing would do everything, including begging, submitting oneself into the owner of the sincerity.

In the end, it is the slow and relaxing wind that put a giant into sleep.

So, who would be the naive? The one that submit to lust or the one that give away with sincerity?


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