A Mixed Feeling of Torture

You, humans, are selfish beings. You brought so many lives to this world without ever considering the pain those children would shrug. It is a life panacea to be able of bore children. Unfortunately, it is a shovel unto stories of hardships for the children.

How unfortunate of a child of a minority. The child would suffer of mocks. Even in the public schools, minorities get left behind. How unfortunate for the child of criminals. The child would be implemented bad things. Even if the child trying to escape, the society wouldn't let go.

The most unfortunate are the children of unwanted. Child of womb ripped without consent. Child of accident. Child of an extremist.

As soon as the child grows, it will face hardships. Without its consent, the child would be a plaything of the world. Either eaten by greedy of capitalism, enslaved by despotism, or even diluted by extreme sects. They kill, they rape, they died, they intoxicate this world.

This world and its demise are getting closer each passing day. How cursed we are in this wicked world where people kill each other just to survive. And you ignorantly passing down a life to the child? Why do you gives life into this troubling world? My life?

Famine, hunger, terrorism, fear and the most feared; betrayed. Must I face that?

Dear child,

I have not bore a child. I am but a generation before you. You have a reason for hating people, especially your parents. You have a weary face about this world that you would inherits from us. You have a reason to blame us for everything that you can't have for granted anymore. It's natural for you to think that in this twisted world.

But child, listen to my story.

I was born as minority. I had the time when I walked and someone would spitted at me from behind. I had the time when I was in the environment where people would talked behind my back. I even have a hard time on the school when our homeroom teacher mocking my parent's belief.

I did have a right to hate them. But I didn't and I won't.

One day, when I was on the way home, my body felt heavy. It was a hard day for me to walk. Unable to breathe well, I collapsed on the same road where the hate resides. That day, the sun struck me hard. The asthma I had made it so hard to breathe.

And on that day, I was on that asphalt road, lying....

On my faint, I heard people voices. They rushed to get me. They put oil and massaged my back, called me and told me to be strong. They nurtured me so I could catch my breathe again and I was saved. I couldn't talked, I couldn't said any word. All that I was thinking of was getting home safely. The cold me, they still gave their shoulder to lean.

Thank God for my asthma.

People are not evil. Sometimes, we are brainwashed by our beliefs. Injected with feeling of superiority just to hide our fear of inferiority. Desperately having a hard time to get our existence. Stricken by our frustration, we tend to hate people. And the people hate back at us.

But child, even in the harsh environment, each human equipped with benevolence. When people looked down by other people, there are people longing for the best for that person. And the magic of life is sometimes the person who hated you would have a point where the person gives you acknowledgement that you wouldn't believe that it entranced you so much.

People died, new people born. Nothing we can do about it except wondering. Wondering about having savior as convenience. Sometimes we have one, sometimes we don't. Don't hate those whom have not. It's not their own fault.

Child, I am not a hero. I am not an influential person. As an ordinary person, I try my best for you. I have chosen not to use plastics. I have chosen of not having own car. I have tried my best to create best environment for nurturing great people.

I try my best, so please don't be disappointed.

Whenever you have people hurt you, please remember that there are who tried their best to love you. Whenever there are people who dissenting truth, there are people that tried to unveil it. Whatever that was taken down, we try to build it up again.

I remembered someone would asked God why her mama and papa gone but the bad people stayed. When I think about it, I have also a question in mind why one of my best friend leaved early. Many answers would I had, but I think the best for me was because God is being good for bad people so that He gave them a chance to repent.

If you don't believe in God, then remember this: people at best to change when they are alive. Decayed heart could be healed. Shattered mind could be mend. Dismembered soul could be attached. All of it is on the dice waiting to be rolled out.

We don't need money, we need to live. As far as I remember, the most lively life is when we share our laughter each other. A happiness is when we could learn to smile. To feel content of what we have. To have each other trust.

So child, forgive this world and carry the will of your youth. A world full of dreams. Learn from my generation mistakes. Learn, please, don't be like us. Don't be consumed by the world of capitalism. Don't be chained by communism. Take your time to learn each other with your friends and enemies.

Forgive past grudge. They won't take you anywhere. Live, live your life with happy smile. You are born in the world where you have the power to define. We'll ensure you that you have that option. Or, at least you could create that option.

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Taken from my thought after reading Ai-Ren manga.