Skip to main content

Things Left Unsaid

What's the best men's biggest source of scar?

Their pride which blanket their awkwardness. Being built with high hopes and expectation, something within self-centered consciousness is bleeding. Yet, nobody would recognize it because he too damn proud to show it.

Missing someone's birthday. Want to apologize but the event is already in the past. The person's not someone who close enough that it would feel awkward to say sorry to. But, still, the thought of resentment is strong and lingering.

Trying to buy a present to someone. Instead of getting compliments, the men getting ill thought from everyone else.  The plan backfired.

What can we do? Sometimes we have a self-righteous, but unfortunately, others are not trying to understand. We thought everybody would be like Oshin, obedience to her husband and try to accept the men's decision.

Trying to be an honest person. The stake is too high. People would infuse with other idealism. Especially, the persons called parents. They'd crash every wild dream each men had and turn it into what they call reality.

Reality is what already happens and all the things later is called probability. Doesn't that means our dream also? Yet, why people love to bash that wild one with the mediocre live probability?

These kind of decisions, made men regrets. Yet, men are not built with the feature to be regretful. Men are specified by society to be a stronghold built upon rock. Still, the heart is nothing than mere buildings built upon sands.

Sometimes we done wrong deeds. Trying to apologize but the fear and the pride getting in the way. The fear of disconnection from the one we want to apologize with. These fear such "what if this person would take advantage of me and crush me?", "what would people see in me if I apologize easily?" and "am I actually in the wrong?"

Can men cry?

No, we don't cry, we run havoc. We blast our anger, sadness and insecurities by crashing into things. The anxiety from high expectation crashed into alcoholism. Regrets turn into anger. Anger turns into despair. And when the despair runs deep, it becomes calamity that destroy the whole family.

No. We are supposed to be built with no comma in the sentences. All shame should be swallowed. Nothing should hinder this stronghold. Except, when a miracle happens; someone would hold the men tight for comfort and forgive him.

So Gaaaaaaaaay!

Ugh, oh, yeah, right... that's gay. And everybody agree with that. Whew, what was I'm thinking?

There is no way a men fault could be redeemed. There is no way a men getting a chance to be forgiven for his awkwardness. We have no right after crashing a relation so much. No way we are forgiven.

Okay, let's do what we used to do, crashing more relationship and getting lost in this limbo and pretending like we are cool with it.

Poor growing up boys who don't have grown ups to fix your toy, cheers.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

STAN vs. UI

Ugh, kasihan banget adek gue. Saking kepinteran dia jadi dapet Akuntansi UI dan STAN. Jadi bingung mau masuk yang mana. Beberapa orang (termasuk orang tua gue), menyarankan masuk STAN. Gue malah memperburuk suasana dengan membela memasuki Akuntansi UI, maklum bela almamater. Duh, gue jadi merasa bersalah bikin dia ragu-ragu. Kira-kira enakan masuk mana, yah? Gue juga gak tahu keuntungan masing-masing. Hasil debat sementara: ~ Untuk jangka panjang masuk UI, untuk jangka pendek STAN. ~~Tapi, dia itu kan cewek, ntar pas menikah kemungkinan besar karir terhambat. Eits, ntar, dulu, sekarang kan jamannya emansipasi, bisa aja cowoknya yang jadi BRT. ~ STAN sarang korupsi, kalo masuk STAN jadi pegawai negeri. Kalo mau kaya harus korupsi. Tapi kalo masuk UI, lulus masuk jadi akuntan publik. Sekarang ini, orang membayar akuntan publik untuk memanipulasi nilai pajak dan aset. *SIGH*. Jadi gak ada yang beres ~ dll. Yah, udah gue jadi bingung, apa lagi dia nanya saran gue. Buah, gue gak pengalaman ...

I Hate Marvel Civil War Storyline In Comic

See this snippets from The Amazing Spiderman: [1] http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/4625006.html The snippets on [1] made it clear: Stan Lee made Spidey have a strong believe in Privacy. The comic strips show how Spidey even have to face charges because of his anonymity. The accuser even made many accusation to other entities for political attacks. A fan-art/art I've found in the 90's illustrated Spiderman standing in front of Peter Parker tomb. I don't know if that was originally from comic book or fan-made, 90's are a long time ago. That art mesmerized me and introduced me to the importance of privacy. In late nineties, I was joined to a program hold by an NGO. So, at that time I know how crucial a privacy was (and still is) to humanity. I'm not exaggerating! Humanity would fall to big financial organizations if people could not voice their fears in anonymity. Whistleblowers around the world would not dare to come up. We would not see any suppression ge...