Things Left Unsaid

What's the best men's biggest source of scar?

Their pride which blanket their awkwardness. Being built with high hopes and expectation, something within self-centered consciousness is bleeding. Yet, nobody would recognize it because he too damn proud to show it.

Missing someone's birthday. Want to apologize but the event is already in the past. The person's not someone who close enough that it would feel awkward to say sorry to. But, still, the thought of resentment is strong and lingering.

Trying to buy a present to someone. Instead of getting compliments, the men getting ill thought from everyone else.  The plan backfired.

What can we do? Sometimes we have a self-righteous, but unfortunately, others are not trying to understand. We thought everybody would be like Oshin, obedience to her husband and try to accept the men's decision.

Trying to be an honest person. The stake is too high. People would infuse with other idealism. Especially, the persons called parents. They'd crash every wild dream each men had and turn it into what they call reality.

Reality is what already happens and all the things later is called probability. Doesn't that means our dream also? Yet, why people love to bash that wild one with the mediocre live probability?

These kind of decisions, made men regrets. Yet, men are not built with the feature to be regretful. Men are specified by society to be a stronghold built upon rock. Still, the heart is nothing than mere buildings built upon sands.

Sometimes we done wrong deeds. Trying to apologize but the fear and the pride getting in the way. The fear of disconnection from the one we want to apologize with. These fear such "what if this person would take advantage of me and crush me?", "what would people see in me if I apologize easily?" and "am I actually in the wrong?"

Can men cry?

No, we don't cry, we run havoc. We blast our anger, sadness and insecurities by crashing into things. The anxiety from high expectation crashed into alcoholism. Regrets turn into anger. Anger turns into despair. And when the despair runs deep, it becomes calamity that destroy the whole family.

No. We are supposed to be built with no comma in the sentences. All shame should be swallowed. Nothing should hinder this stronghold. Except, when a miracle happens; someone would hold the men tight for comfort and forgive him.

So Gaaaaaaaaay!

Ugh, oh, yeah, right... that's gay. And everybody agree with that. Whew, what was I'm thinking?

There is no way a men fault could be redeemed. There is no way a men getting a chance to be forgiven for his awkwardness. We have no right after crashing a relation so much. No way we are forgiven.

Okay, let's do what we used to do, crashing more relationship and getting lost in this limbo and pretending like we are cool with it.

Poor growing up boys who don't have grown ups to fix your toy, cheers.


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