Higher Calling

Some recent events made have made my nasionality desecrated into some lowest level. Never I had doubt about this country that I used to love so much. There are two things that revolved in my head:
  1. Pornography Bill. This bill alter some province and many people objection. How arrogantly they take this bill and not take account many factions. Is this country a country of one religion, one race, nor one culture! DAMN IT! How could they so easy endangered this nation.
  2. Amrozy cs. was regarded as bunch of terorists. But, what I saw and heard in the media was different. They were regarded as heroes. WTF?
What happened just made me thought that this country maybe had me not as a citizen but a stranger. These few years I'm living on fear that someday there would come a day where my church would be shutted and burnt to the ground. I'm not delutional, because they had the attempt few years ago but failed.

You see, it is so hard to build a church here. We need some amount of documents that seems not reasonable. Why? I see other religion's building would not need such amount. They can be built anywhere they like. So, it's a miracle if a church can be built.

Now, my church is a special one. It is not a church like theatre just like some in public places nor a church building so great like the Cathedral. No, we have no luxury to build such. But, the church was built like a house. It once built on a soil near swamp and empty land. But, like any land in Jakarta, our church is now part of a vast settlement.

The problem is, many of those newcomers from other blocks have the intention of shutting down our church. Some of their reasoning were false, e.g. our church causing so many land park taken. You see, we have more than twenty years and the people we served are middle to povert people. How can they have cars? But, yes, because of the condition of our church members, we are not able to buy sound cancelation that some would have listen to our sound. Strangely, that was not a problem many many years ago.

How come these few years people become intolerant? What made them like that? We used to have friendly neighbours and yes we still have, but why more people comes with hate? What made their faith shadowed with those filthy minds?

These frustration made me comes in a selfish conclution: I am quitting to support this country. If you noticed that Kambing is not in maintained like it used to be. Well, that was because I was in terrible demoralized condition. The worst part was, I had some thought of leaving PPSI UI and would like to follow others; taking some bucks into my vault and enjoying myself.

Yeah, that's right! Enjoying myself, why not? Everybody is doing it! They don't care nor have the intention to help this country. I mean, look at them. Not even sweating to help this country! When I took them to open source, they resists to the higher level that they took many with them. Not because it was impossible, nor because it's hard. It was just because they didn't have the courage to try. Instant Mentality!

Then again, I was thinking to do the same. To put away any responsibility to my country, given this is still the country I used to love. I am really hurted by current situation.

Well, that were the condition of these few weeks, until my church council meeting. There I was as one of the head of division -- sounds cool, eh? But that word mere a calling and I don't know what English word to have it explained. :D

Anyway, one of the High Facilitator asked us this question:
What is your calling?
With a default answer I replied: to serve The Lord, taking many hurted souls back to God. I want to [ENTER ANY DEFAULT ANSWERS HERE SUCH AS: Cell Community, Prison Serving, and any Diaconia services]

But, he then said:
That is not a calling!
What? (no F here :D)

He sure made not even me, but the entire room suddenly quite. He then explained again the very foundation of our church, which is why I think I've made a BIG mistake. I have neglected our vision from the very beginning: to be a light and to be a salt.

That what would Jesus do! That is what Christians strive to do! That is what our God commands us to do!

My selfish act, acting and thinking that I am a Christian, without doubt clouded my mind and forget about what The Lord has command. God forgive me and us! A mere mortal like me trying to deceive my mind with alteration of the Bible. Yes, a plague that spreading not only to the Christians, but also other religions too, deceiving many minds with selfishness.

Do you remember how the Romans Empire was embowed in Christianity? The soldiers were not in tremble because of the divine power through harsh judgement. They were shaking because Christians don't fought back when they were crucified, burnt, and fed to animals. They give the forgiveness and change the Romans.

Do you remember why they stopped the gladiator show? Do you remember how Europe civilized? Do you know whose inventions that we are now depend? At whose idea that now we have Red Cross and Nobel prize?

Yes, I forgot the reason why we are Christians. I forgot about how Jesus despised all of religous faction that only trying to have their religious act. God hate worshipper that not become a light. Yeah, church without act is not a church!

It is a sin if a church not able to change the environment to be a better one. Evenmore, it is forbidden for a church to become self-center.

Anyway, these were the talk: (not quite precise, because I don't have recorder)

HF: What is your calling?
JP: To serve The Lord. Uhm... in Youth Department, as Cell Community leader.

HF: Anymore than that?
JP: Errr... I have a vision to have a vision to have high school ministry.

HF: Are you sure that was your calling?
JP: ....

HF: That is not a calling. A calling is .... For example, church in ... (I don't remember exact words, but he was talking about doing something from the heart). A man was very touchy when he sought mad/crazy person roaming alone uncared. So touchy and believed that God is talking about caring those unwanted people, he then began a ministry for those kind of people and take others too. ...

You know for particular reason I said these sentences, something that I was trying to neglect. Something in my eyes, no, I'm not crying... err... almost. Just a bit. I said just a tiny little bit.

JP: I have a vision in Indonesian IT. I want IT to change Indonesia. That's why I choose open source. That's why I work in Universitas Indonesia.

HF: Yes, that is your calling.


You know, there is something with people with high spirituality as him, he knows how to shoot people in the heart. Scary isn't it?

I am a chaotic person and I know that many of these times I have not enough spirituality. I even neglecting some of basic/fundamental things that Christian do: have a personal time to pray. My selfish thinking lead me to try to understand myself, yet it only comes to a devastation of my path which is my own self.

There are ways to define own life, but I felt refreshed every time I served Him. No, I'm not that kind of spiritual person (I know Tokyo Hot), but from what I investigate (which also provided as prove from psychological view), a man without reason is doubted to be alive. I don't have strong faith like other people that can heal a person. I have my own fear every time I talked to a person stranger. And I don't think I have the capacity to lead people.

But, the Bible emphasize that we all have a calling. We all have our purpose. Everyone of us have talents to do business, God's business. We all have a crusade, to win a war with treacherous evil kingdom. With boldly the scripture said that our fight is not against the flesh and blood. Our fight is against the evil whom like to disrupt the peacefulness of the world. To fought the unjust which enslaved many people.

Yes, the reason of my crusade is now in my mind.
  • How can we have a strong nation? To have order.
  • How can we have order? To have good IT infrastructure.
  • How can we achieve that, the IT is so costly?
  • By using open source, plus we can have our own good development.
Tell me if I'm wrong, don't you all affected by open source? All these openness that the world offer as a gracious act of helpfulness and leveraging us to good providence. That openness, the spirit of giving is like what the scripture said. My dream, such openness would lead Indonesian lives in a better ground.

Wew, such a gigantic dream! But I will go as far as I could.

I'm still hurted by the condition that we all now face. But, The Lord teach us, Christians, to forgive. I don't have strong spiritual life, but my sense of Christianity taught me that I have to give something. Christians must not fear what they need, but as a soldier we ought to fight like mad under the banner of Christ! Someone whom only think of own belly is not an appropriate Christian.

Yeah, I should learn to love my country again. It was a false pretense that I didn't feel hurt everytime I tried to neglect.

Hmm... I know the reason why I jumped to FOSS in the first place. It was because Syntia (yes you! s*d20) reminded me: "Isn't it our reason to live is to glorify the Lord?" Such sentence could change me? :P

Dear Christian reader, what is your crusade? What is your calling? Are you a follower of Christ? WWJD?

I know that my crusade is in IT. In particular, I have a vision of FOSS. So, I go with the FOSS. Up we go...!

Downloading UbuntuME....


  1. My calling is to be the next St IGNUcius. Watch out RMS, I'm gonna take over your position.

    How about that?


  2. My current calling is to feed my (rather big, 4 families) family.

    And probably later, bring knowledge to be shared and taught in Indonesia. Well probably after I got phD


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