Some belief model involving God.
Forbes made an interesting post about casting away negative attitude to think that someone will bail you out. It made sense when it told you that you should go and prepare yourself. Nobody can be guaranteed to be a permanent helper.

I have watched how a person sunk to bottom and his family (his own brothers) left him when he asked for financial support. He was the one that supported them when they were younger. But, because he made a failed financial decision, he was left alone.

He was a senior manager in a certain multi-national corporate when he left his job. He sought an entrepreneur path and tried to pave his way. Unfortunately, his initial attempts was a failure. He was frowned upon and left without a job.

And when he asked his brother to lend him money, he did not have it. Instead, he was getting lectured about bad decisions. He was insulted and labelled as a disgrace for his family. After all that, he was banned from his brother presence.

I have witnessed also a person who was prominent in his time. After his pension, one by one people left him until he was alone. No power he had left but stories of the past fascinating to hear.

You might be lucky to have people to be leaned on. Cherish them, because they will not be there forever. Time makes people change. There will be time when they will no longer support you.

But, the last part of the article was wrong.

Relying on God alone is the perfect answer. It was the wrong definition of "relying on God" that made it wrong.

Sometimes, I wonder why Christians attend ESQ with millions of Rupiah registration fee. I had one and the content similar to what the Bible already clearly stated. The difference is that they tried to make it universal by getting rid all the biblical symbol. Sometimes, because of the S (Spiritual), they made a part with Islamic quotation because most of Indonesian registered as Moslems.

You are a Pythagorean if you read the books of Pythagoras and took his words as a base for your philosophy. You are a Socialist if you have read any Karl Marx or any Socialist book and started act like one. You are a Hipster if you dress like one and deny all the mainstream.

But, you don't read the Bible, you don't act like what's written and you don't have compassion. How can you call yourself a Christian? (Christ disciple)

I know this phenomenon is not unique to Christianity but to any major religion. But, this is what Jesus told about that: [ESV]
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
Relying on God means that you are listening to his advice and do all things accordingly.

Have you ever been a consultant?

As an IT staff on a big organization, I have. We made some rules to put the organization in one rhythm. We streamlined every decision based on Key Performance Indicators.

When a department wanted to have IT their infrastructure, we guided them. We let them know every interface that available to them based on their needs. We setup some rules to make them integrated nicely with existing system and made them play along nicely with every other existing.

Now, once in a while, there will be an arse that felt outsmart you and thought you as an incompetent for things that you have done in years.

This genius made his own solution and forced other to accept it. As expected, the system he developed screw up. To cover his position, he blame the IT Department.

Have you ever been in this position? Have you been blamed for things that out of your control? Have you ever been a person that was in charge yet not being able to execute things according to your strategy?

You know, you were told to held responsible of a certain part of your organization. You bet your integrity, your life and your pride onto that  something. You made routines and sharpening them so that each business process optimized.

Unfortunately, an arse in higher ups shortsighted. She circumvented the procedures and doing things according her own volition. Without the procedure, she done all to met her goal. The data became inconsistent and some part were broken. You were never been involved, yet you were forced to fix that mess because she used resources that was supposed to be in your responsibility.

Nobody wants to be responsible for mess that was not his/her doing.

Don't be an arse! If you never practice what God have teach you to do, don't blame him for bad things happens to you.

Well, at least that's what I have told to myself to accept my hardships. Sometimes, I screwed around. If I think again, those hard times was because of my own decision.

An interesting part of Bible told us this: [ESV, emphasized by me]

Thus says the Lord:
"Cursed is the man who trusts in man
    and makes flesh his strength,
    whose heart turns away from the Lord.
He is like a shrub in the desert,
    and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
    in an uninhabited salt land.
"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
    whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
    that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
    for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
    for it does not cease to bear fruit."
The heart is deceitful above all things,
    and desperately sick;
    who can understand it?
Nobody understands about heart, even if it's self. I know that when we made a decision, sometimes our heart clouded our mind. We often rejected the result of many assessment. As "scumbag brain" meme told us, the brain done opposite things from what we ought to do.

When we took the initiative based on our own belief and not consulting to what is written in God's Guidance for Having Greater Life for Dummies (a.k.a Bible), we made a decision to be ourselves. We decide we play our own set of rules.

This is what curse means, God let you go as you are. It's like letting you programmed in C, you make your own memory allocation. So, when eventually you made a segmentation fault (accessing a memory that was not allocated) your life crash so bad.

But, here's what should be done when you rely on God: [ESV]

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;
    fools despise wisdom and instruction.

You made God as a platform. You based your thoughts on the Words. Your assessment of what you should doing based on what is written. You train your heart and mind to be what ideal human described by it. You crave for it.

If you just think God will bail you out when you are screw up. Your thinking is like having an Insurance protection program but you don't pay for its membership. Cheap bastard! :-)
From time to time, there will always be bullying happens. Some people would argue that that's the normal process of life. Some even relate them to the way of the world: the stronger consuming the weak.

Well, sorry to say that I can say that's baseless. The world is made by the society. What shape them is the agreements that become the norms. If we agree to get better, then the world will get better. The world will be a better place.

But why seems there are people who oppose to the idea of it?

I can only say that many people have different insights of how to live their lives. There are some that take spiritual causes such as God as their guidance and some people gather knowledge as their utmost defense.

Among that we believe in, there are also ego, hatred and self-acceptance. Ego, the basic desire of human beings to have a meaningful existence. Hatred, the basic defense to have distrust to protect your existence. The most of it is self-acceptance, which means the way you would accept what role you will play.

This is why I don't like movies like Tom and Jerry.

Tom and Jerry sadly put many youngster to have this: there is always bully. That cat, which the embodiment of the world as seen as huge monster among the young eyes, can be bullied. That mice, which is the little body. And everything will be fine because even if they are smacked, they will return to their original state.

Well, that's why I think Rurouni Kenshin (Samurai X) is the better movie to watch than that toned down Tom and Jerry.

In Rurouni Kenshin, the dead don't rise from the tomb. The hands that broken is not healed completely. Wars come with revenges and many undesired consequences. Every aspect of violence there is a dire consequence that can't be undone.

You see, like the censorship of speech would let the fire burns unnoticed, toned down violence also let the guard down. The mild violence build up calamity. It would slowly build up until at a point it spreads wildly and it is too late to stop.

Censorship forbid people to understand

If you want to introduce violence to children, then don't let them see some parts of it. I don't mean that the gore should be displayed. That's insanity and I too oppose to that. But, they have to know that there are consequences of that.

I know that it is the part of the guardians; i.e. parents or someone older, to explain about the dire results. But, in this modern time where some parents would forsake their children for dreams. Sad thing that they were never did that role.

In fact, I think the essence why bullying is getting mainstream and hardcore is because of the reason that the bullies are having the hard time to be noticed.

I know some of those children that like to bully other people just to impress others. There are lots of them that done so because the lack of attention back home. Some of them put a lot of efforts to hide their disdain. Some just curious and enjoy it because it gains them favors.

We can't force them to stop because rebellion is a part of growth. What we can do is to educate them and nurture them. Teach them about conflict resolutions might help them about what's right and what's should be done to get the message across.

I know that I might have spoken abstract. It's just that every environment has its own system. I can't tell a silver bullet. But, the essence is there and every nation should be awaken.

Church should stand up against bullying

There are times when bullying would made one asking the existence of benevolence God. It occurs that the harsher the environment, the more children would become adults. The worst (or should be the best) part of adult is they would have a difficult time to change their mind. Resolutions would stay and need a lot of time.

I think in this harsher world children are getting more and more atheist than ever. The growth of Internet and its popular concept of how it turns out cool to be not believing God are threats to any older belief. You would find many children today of age around ten would sounds so wise. Some might have twisted beliefs in a way that surprised us.

Yeah, you would be surprise how the old way of educating youngster (meaning the one that we hold dear now) is not even effective anymore.

Some people said that beating your children is the best education. The children don't have the ability to decide yet. What they are trying to do most likely full of foul play and we, as the one longer in the earth, should straighten their path.

Some say that adults should stay away. Adults should not interfere with children and let them grow by themselves. Their understanding will go wiser.

Unfortunately, the Internet nowadays inject thoughts that beyond the comprehension of many. It used to be hidden and filtered geographically. But, the melting pot of Internet made them visible and available to be consumed by everyone, including children.

As my experience with children, all I can say is they are not wild. You just need to respect them. But, don't let them go alone.

I used to watch Oprah in TV. In her show, she always called the children "young adults". She even called the toddlers, "these little person". This concept quite went into my mind when I thought about it back then. It helped me reshape my way of thinking in the ministry.

When children don't have the ability to express themselves doesn't mean they don't have the ability to think. It's just that they don't describe it yet. That doesn't mean they aren't able to process it.

Even if they can't describe what is happening, their instinct are able to grasp. They do understand that they are weak and by their subconscious they have alarmed themselves. Their behavior change.

No, they are not some stupid children. They are young adults that need to be taught about things. You should respect them and be wary of what they too can affect you as other adults may.

Treat them as young adults

Remember, they are not stupid, they are young adults. The part of adult means you should seriously consider them. But, the part of young means they also need some treatments.

This is what I do:

  1. Respect their decision and when their bad decision into a fruition I would try my best to help them out.
  2. Listen to them and respect them.
  3. Praise their achievements whenever I can. 
The #1 is not just to pick them up immediately, but to supervise their behavior and take action when they would go out of corridor. How wide you should provide the corridor is based solely by your experience with them.

In my experience, a boy/girl with background from a strict family is what should be weary of. I found that these young adults would leap far away from the road. Especially, when they used to have strict live and then suddenly they went unsupervised (college life).

The hard part is #2.
Sometimes we think we listen to them, but actually we don't really pay attention. I can't describe on this blog post how come we miss that. But, to be clear, there are at least these indicators that indicate if we listen enough:

  • These young adults would listen to us back.
  • They cling to us because you fulfill their fourth stage of need.
  • They have better understanding of what they perceive.
The #3 needs practice because we need to be sincere to tell it.  If we don't get used to tell it, there is this insincerity that people would perceive. I don't know how to describe it, but I think people have this spider sense that knows if we are just trying to lick ass.


Wow, I originally wanted to write this post short

I think I should stop here. Bullying is not a part culture that everyone should be part of it. I can tell you about some faithful Christians evolving their little adults well. I have seen many of those young adults done things that made my jaw opens.

Parents, I think it's about time you have a serious conversation about life with your offspring.